From Bankrupt To Millionaire: This Former Sex Educator Says “Dating With Your Money” Is The Key To Building Wealth

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She had an exorbitant credit score. She paid off all of her credit cards each month. She contributed to her retirement accounts and knew how to save. But even perfect personal financial hygiene was no match for $310,000 in medical debt. It was then that Wendy Petties declared bankruptcy.

“I was sick for a long time and I was in this routine of doing whatever the doctor said,” she says. “It was a great attention, [but] I accumulated all this debt. Petties filed for Chapter 13 bankruptcy in 2018 and decided she needed to completely rewire her relationships with debt, money and value to bounce back.

Petties is the CEO of Simmer LLC and directs Date your money. What started as a side hustle in 2005 eventually catapulted her to full-time freelance work in 2014. As a psychologist and former sex educator who also has an MBA, she uses her decades of experience — as well as his bankruptcy – to teach people how to build a better relationship with their money.

Four years later, the entrepreneur is now worth $1.3 million. Here’s what the Las Vegas-based trainer learned about the money mindset along the way.

How bankruptcy became a blessing

When Petties was training as a sex educator, she learned how important pleasure was in all aspects of her life — not just with others, but also within herself. She says her bankruptcy debt is a tool she uses to teach others how to change their mindset about money.

“My debt was medical debt, which doesn’t make it better or worse, she says. “I’m totally okay with this debt, because I’m healthy now. And I didn’t want to be ashamed. My debt is a tool, [so] I started talking about it. It happened for me. I’m not a bad person.”

Petties began teaching people a three-step framework for reconnecting their habits with money: clarity, confidence, and competence. As a financial coach with a background in sex education, she merges the worlds of personal finance and relationships into one. Money is so ingrained in everything we do, but it doesn’t have to define who we are.

“My clients’ measurable results are tied to their personal net worth. There are a lot of people making a lot of money in their business and their personal finances are crap, or vice versa,” she says. “Or both are crap!” Gather your personal stuff and see what it looks like in your business. You need to have a budget at home to be able to budget at work.

You don’t need a million dollar business to have a million dollar net worth

Petties points out that his business does not bring in millions of dollars a year, and his business income is part of a number of different investments and assets.

“I’m not a millionaire company,” she says. “My company earns an average of $250,000 per year providing a comprehensive professional and personal development service. I speak to people of color and marginalized communities. Often we don’t have the same opportunities. I am able to maintain reasonable rates so that it is accessible to more people.

Petties has a mix of businesses and individuals, which helps it keep costs down to an acceptable rate for those who need it most. Success has shifted her focus to her own beliefs about money, and she wants others to see what they are capable of as well.

“The success really showed me that it’s possible for a lot of people,” Petties says. “If I hadn’t changed my mindset, I wouldn’t be anywhere. I have people who are unable to get from where they are to where they want to be because they believe the way forward is not for them, or their self-talk is “I have to take care of my family even if I don’t take care of myself”. .'”

There are ways to have the things or experiences you love while keeping in mind what you’re spending. Petties says she’s not one to give up the fun because you think it’ll save you money.

“If you LOVE Starbucks, do it,” she says. “Let’s find solutions in your expenses to continue doing the things you love to do and buy what you want to buy. This is the philosophy with which I like to work.

Pro tip

How you feel about your money and yourself shows up in your daily actions. Find a healthy balance between spending on what you love and increasing your net worth.

3 Financial Mindset Tips You Can Adopt Today

Rewiring your financial mindset is something you can start doing now, says Petties. Here are three tips she gives to get you started.

  1. Don’t let your social media persona define you. “I think people do [themselves] a disservice by showing only the good stuff to their subscribers,” Petties says. ““Oh, I work for me! Look at me, I’m on a beach! It’s work. Just like your 9 to 5, there will be things you like and things you don’t like.
  2. Go on regular dates with your money. “For those starting a business, keep personal and business finances separate. Keep track of your money each week. I teach clients to embody the date of money. [It’s] weekly practice.
  3. Trust your body. “Check in with yourself and ask yourself, ‘Does it feel good or not?’ You can ebb and flow and change. I keep checking. Don’t compromise or twist yourself in ways that don’t feel good to you.

It’s easy to scroll through social media and see glamorous posts about working for yourself or living a luxurious lifestyle. Remember you only see what someone wanna to show you. Build a strong relationship with your own money first and you will be unwavering when it comes to pursuing your financial goals.

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